My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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