Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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