we're chasing vodka with high fives
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
