I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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