I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
