it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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