Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
