Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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