"it" just moved
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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