You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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