4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
