Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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