Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
