the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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