So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i believe in u and ur pee
last night I used snow as a chaser
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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