No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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