Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
