she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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