She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
