Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
