I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
