i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
