Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My penis needs a shock collar
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Pants are for mortals
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
