Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he puts the penis in happiness.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
