Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!