On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
