I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
