I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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