There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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