Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
