you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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