I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
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On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
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I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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