i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
