so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
