So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
