sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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