he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
