We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
