she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
