I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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