if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
