i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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