ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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