i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
