The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't put those talents on a resume
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
