Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
