This is not my ceiling
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
