Cold hands, warm shart.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
