i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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