what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
