pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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