what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
