just come out here and I will go home with you...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
