dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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