I want to stick my p in your. b.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
