i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
