My hair reeks of homosexuality.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
