i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
