butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
