So drunk its hurt
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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