fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
