yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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