with your own penis?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
