i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You dont lie about slip and slides
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
