If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
