the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize