I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize