Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
